ANN O'REXIA AWARDS*
*The Ann O’Rexia (or AO'R for short) is a platinum statuette of a slim, boney thing with long straight hair, scarey fingers and a fetching sneer.
... CHRISTIANITY
Which of the following sentiments most deserves the AO’R for true Christian feeling:
a. John Murtha is the reason soldiers invented fragging.
b. I really want to hurt Christophers Shays (D. Conn.). I want him to feel pain.
c. God said, “Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.”
d. The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals.
e. My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.
... CHEMICAL IMBALANCE
Which of the following sentiments most deserves the AO’R for idiocy in the defense of idiocy:
a. It's no surprise that Democrats want Saddam Hussein back – he made them seem moderate by comparison.
b. Hitler carried the secularists' philosophy to its grisly conclusion.
c. Democrats have declared war against Republicans.
d. Republicans will be sitting in cells at Guantanamo after Hillary is elected.
e. Liberals are dangerous psychotics.
f. Liberals care only about destroying human life.
g. Libertarians don’t appreciate the benefits of local fascism.
h. Since 9/11, Democrats have nearly gone stark raving mad at having to mouth patriotic platitudes while burning with a desire to aid the enemy.
i. In liberal eyes, a man who is married with four children, whom he home-schools, is the moral equivalent to a Ku Klux Klanner.
... PRESCIENCE
Which of the following ridiculees most deserves the AO’R for turning out to have been right:
a. Democrat moneyman George Soros, for suggesting that “democracy cannot be imposed by military means;”
b. Nicholas Lehman, for writing that “It is difficult to find anybody in Washington, in either party, who will seriously defend Bush's management of Iraq;”
c. Al Gore, for laying out the Democrats “full traitorous case” by suggesting we should not get sidetracked by Saddam Hussein;
d. Dick Gephardt, for calling President Bush a "miserable failure."
e. Columnist Bob Herbert, for suggesting that "Competence has never been highly regarded by the fantasists of the George W. Bush administration."
*The Ann O’Rexia (or AO'R for short) is a platinum statuette of a slim, boney thing with long straight hair, scarey fingers and a fetching sneer.
... CHRISTIANITY
Which of the following sentiments most deserves the AO’R for true Christian feeling:
a. John Murtha is the reason soldiers invented fragging.
b. I really want to hurt Christophers Shays (D. Conn.). I want him to feel pain.
c. God said, “Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.”
d. The thing I like about Bush is I think he hates liberals.
e. My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building.
... CHEMICAL IMBALANCE
Which of the following sentiments most deserves the AO’R for idiocy in the defense of idiocy:
a. It's no surprise that Democrats want Saddam Hussein back – he made them seem moderate by comparison.
b. Hitler carried the secularists' philosophy to its grisly conclusion.
c. Democrats have declared war against Republicans.
d. Republicans will be sitting in cells at Guantanamo after Hillary is elected.
e. Liberals are dangerous psychotics.
f. Liberals care only about destroying human life.
g. Libertarians don’t appreciate the benefits of local fascism.
h. Since 9/11, Democrats have nearly gone stark raving mad at having to mouth patriotic platitudes while burning with a desire to aid the enemy.
i. In liberal eyes, a man who is married with four children, whom he home-schools, is the moral equivalent to a Ku Klux Klanner.
... PRESCIENCE
Which of the following ridiculees most deserves the AO’R for turning out to have been right:
a. Democrat moneyman George Soros, for suggesting that “democracy cannot be imposed by military means;”
b. Nicholas Lehman, for writing that “It is difficult to find anybody in Washington, in either party, who will seriously defend Bush's management of Iraq;”
c. Al Gore, for laying out the Democrats “full traitorous case” by suggesting we should not get sidetracked by Saddam Hussein;
d. Dick Gephardt, for calling President Bush a "miserable failure."
e. Columnist Bob Herbert, for suggesting that "Competence has never been highly regarded by the fantasists of the George W. Bush administration."
posted by Vince Canzoneri at 7:07 PM
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